Monday, December 31, 2007

I hate Honda Civics

I hate honda civics - everytime I see one I look for my "Ox vs Thunderbird" sticker on the back and the fucked up bumber. Tonight I drove to Capitol Hill like I normally do, I was planning on meeting up with my friend Brad and Pamela at Linda's on Pine. We have been going there a lot lately. I parked my truck, and took my first right to head through Cal Anderson park. As I was looking up I saw the dreaded car that I look for everywhere I go. Instantly I started shaking. Like a jackass with a broken heart I called Teresa on the phone - to no avail. I texted her, told her I was sitting on the hood of her car to no avail. After about 20 minutes or so I went to the first apartment's front door and looked on the directory. Of course, apartment 002 it said "bronson." Up until this point I refused to ask or want to know where she moved to. Oddly enough she moved literally one block west of where I use to live when I moved to Seattle on 13th and Howell.

Background - I was with Teresa for almost five years, we have some rough spots but nothing that was super terrible or abusive. This is the person I spent most of my time wanting to make happy and be with. In July of 07 on the 3rd I found out she had been talking with this boy she met on the plane coming back from this HR conference. I found out by a comment he posted on her myspace, I logged in to her account to find them chatting back and forth. Once confronted, she informed me that she purposely left that comment up for me to find and for me to inquire about. From then on it has been hellish for me...

Back to the "bronson" directory - I paged it twice she answered. I don't know if she knew it was me or was acting otherwise. I wanted to see her. Don't ask me why. The person that puts you through that much shit, and makes you feel horrible - and you still want to see them. She hung up on me, but called me back on my cell phone. She told me to leave her apartment - as I was walking away I was talking with her briefly. She was very hesitant to get off the phone. Like a jackass I wanted to talk to her for whatever reason. I wanted to see my cat "lana." I was thinking about a million things at once, and became that hurt person all over again. I got half way to Linda's before she hung up on me after saying goodbye for the 12th time to me.

My fingers were frozen from holding the phone in the cold air. I had to get my ID out to get in to the bar, which proved to be a much harder task then it should have been. Once I got inside the weirdest thing happened to me. As I was walking up the steps looking around for Brad and Pamela, this girl stopped me. She was pointing at me and starting saying "you are the guy with the zombie drawing." At first I was confused and distracted, but that quickly went away. I told her that; that was me. She was so exited and introduced me to her friends. They told me that they were a fan of my artwork and they love my shirts that I print. I had to quickly tell them how I was in the strangest mood from running in to my X. I told them that they made my night - almost instantly I felt a million times better from that.

A lot of things I don't understand, but randomness is amazing to me still. How you can go from one crappy experience that seems to ruin you - to a stranger that appreciates who you are and your work.

It's a little after 1:10am... I'm not tired thanks to insomnia - which won't go away. I'm going to go play some Mario Galaxy on my Wii and listen to Cap'n Jazz.

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